Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
