I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Two words: nipple clamps
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