Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize