he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
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