I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
