We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Randomize
