We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
you mean i was at the winter classic?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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