My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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