The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
