I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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