Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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