I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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