I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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