why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
