Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Sext me about skeletons
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
