You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize
