remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
