u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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