Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
