Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
