someone owes me an orgasm
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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