Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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