I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
i was born a porn star she said
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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