he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
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Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
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I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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