You made me cry and you don't even care
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
