Say something about gay babies.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
