I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
