you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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