I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Randomize
