did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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