If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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