but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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