when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
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