Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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