what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
