he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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