I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
