Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
