i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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