Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize
