My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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