we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
