i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
