I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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