I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
