jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
