Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize