i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Randomize
