these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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