You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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