Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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