I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize