My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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