Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
