1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
