I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I'm way too hungover for life right now
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
