Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
