Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I want to be your penis for a week.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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