one two three fourrrrnication!
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
