My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
