I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Randomize
